dastardlyhans promisesandheartbreaks

dutchster:

when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep

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33,188 notes
dutchster dinfetta
unicorn-stache dinfetta
oomshi dinfetta
thepurdypurdy laughingattheawkwardmoments
roarofsilence laughingattheawkwardmoments

tacoposey:

my mom once told me about how her friend’s daughter was once in a weird relationship with an older man who got off on paying her bills 

like he would give her a credit card and would totally find sexual pleasure in going over all the purchases she made with his money

but they hardly ever talked or saw each other

and the story still sits with me because i think that’s like fairytale kinds of magic right there

96,439 notes
tacoposey laughingattheawkwardmoments

lynzave:

my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing 

310,194 notes
lynzave laughingattheawkwardmoments

shotsfiredat221b:

dulect:

chicken-nuggets-galore:

Do twins have the same sized dick?

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Both reactions work

732,879 notes
chicken-nuggets-galore kingsleyyy

laptopped:

do rude people know they’re rude

242,480 notes
laptopped overlookingmylife